I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! Rule of life lesson #100!!!
Dang, that feels good to write.
It prompted me to look back at the very first rule of life lesson I shared exactly one decade ago in my book When the Universe Throws a Curveball and let me just say, it was a little freaky to see how these two lessons and stories parallel each other in my story.
In lesson #1, I couldn’t get out of my marketing agency job fast enough to start my own business due to the harsh realization that there was zero advancement and the people I worked with really weren’t my friends at all. And in this lesson, I was contemplating whether to go back and get the 9 to 5 job. I was just about to settle until a talk with my mini-me solidified why taking the easy way out may not always be the best choice.
So what happened to this once determined girl who was ready to take on the entrepreneurial world to the one just a couple years ago who was ready to be employed full-time again?
Let’s say that sometimes you feel like you’ve been burned, beaten down, and aren’t really sure if being the boss is in the cards for you anymore. It happens.
Speaking with complete and total honesty here.
To catch you up on my journey, in 2016 I let every one of my other businesses go in marketing, event planning and running The Mom-e Club to venture out and find myself and my purpose again no matter how long it took. In 2017 I found myself knocked down on the ground after experiencing something so inhumane yet not uncommon (I was a victim in business fraud and even though I was innocent, I lost the case and had to repay every cent), to losing all confidence in my abilities, almost losing my marriage and falling into somewhat of a deep depression. To 2018, and the compromise I made to my husband Sean that yes, even though my business wasn’t where it needed to be yet (I still hadn’t figured me out yet), I would go back and get the part-time job.
The truth? The part-time job wasn’t doing it for me and the only solution I could see was to go back and work full-time. It was truly “the easy way out.” No more being a business owner, no more stress, just the usual day in day out.
I applied for a position at my alma mater, Arizona State University, for a position that was entry-level at best, but still working with whom I wanted to be around – entrepreneurs and startups. I was pleasantly surprised when I was called within a couple of days for an interview.
I mentioned it to a few friends, Sean, my mom, and all seemed to have this same puzzled response.
“Tisha, are you sure THIS is what you want?”
“Yeah,” was all I could say. Wasn’t sure what to feel. Numb, maybe? It would eliminate so many problems. Or would it?
I decided to have a talk with the one person who would tell it to me straight. My daughter Ellie who was six-years-old. After all, she had a big say in the matter. Wise beyond her years, she was so intuitive. It was like talking to a little adult.
“Ellie, how would you feel if mommy went back to work full-time?
Her response is what changed the whole trajectory of my life from this point on. She said, “Mommy, I’d be happy for you because you wouldn’t have so much stress, but I’d also be sad because I’d never see you.”
My eyes welled up with tears. “Ellie, do you believe mommy can do this?”
“Yes, I always believe in you. You’re mommy.”
That right there was exactly what I needed to hear. It brought me back to my why. To be a mom involved in every aspect of my kiddos’ life. Not to miss out on all their moments.
I went to the interview which was going pretty well until the staff shared the requirements. There was zero flexibility in the time I’d need to be at the office. Considering how far we lived from the campus, there would also be a considerable amount of traffic each way. The pay was pretty low in comparison to what I could make on my own if I put in 110% effort and it really wasn’t a position conducive for a mom with young kiddos who had afterschool activities. Now I saw what my friends and family meant.
In order for me to take this position, it meant making even more sacrifices and trading in one stress for bigger stress – how to juggle it all. The people who would ultimately pay for my decision wouldn’t be me, but my family.
In the end, I didn’t get the position. In fact, it went to a girl much younger than I am who was fresh out of college, single and without a family yet. I’d say it went to the perfect candidate. Someone who could focus her efforts and time on building her career.
I already had my career down. I had a TON of experience and knowledge to share. I needed to stop looking for the easy way out and do as I tell people – start making it happen. That’s exactly what I did and how everything started to fall into place one day and one step at a time.
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Rule of Life Lesson #100: