The good thing about social media? We can show you only what we want you to see.

The not-so-good thing about social media? We don’t show you the sacrifices we make to get where we want to be. You see the “highlight reel,” not always the struggle.

It was May 13, 2017.

I was celebrating my 13th wedding anniversary with my husband Sean overlooking the water at this cool spot in Tempe called The Watershed sipping on Moscow mules and talking about our future.

I could tell you that life was moving along as I magically planned, but the honest truth was it wasn’t. I hadn’t yet launched my book (it came out in February 2018) and I was still struggling with how to get my personal brand moving in the right direction and trying to create a sustainable business supporting startups, which I was later told by several folks was a pipe dream with no substance.

I was in full-on denial.

My husband Sean was definitely the breadwinner throughout our entire marriage and I was more of the hands-on mom tending to the kiddos while attempting to build this business. Call it my part-time entrepreneur mindset. I didn’t feel like I was accomplished. I felt like I was drowning.

Then came time for the “compromise.”

“Sean,” I said. “I know you’ve carried us for so long and I can do more to help our family financially.”

Sean looked at me intently as I started to humble myself.

“If my business is not where it needs to be in the next six months, I promise I will go back to work part-time to help you and our family.”

There. I said it although I didn’t want it to be true.

He didn’t say much, but I knew he felt a huge sense of relief knowing he didn’t have to carry the load alone anymore. Sean wasn’t of the entrepreneur mindset. He was the “get a job after high school, work until you retire, punch in, punch out” type. He was on a smooth path to retirement since starting with the City when he was 17 years old.

And then I waited and hustled and waited and over the next six months, the needle moved, but not as much as I prayed it would support our family financially.

November 2017, Sean forwarded me an application working for the City as a marketing assistant for a museum.

I sighed because the sacrifice was becoming more real and I applied. I secretly even manifested that I didn’t want it because I never heard back from this job opportunity.

I considered myself to be unemployable, which most entrepreneurs feel, too. 

I was never given an interview until a surprise email came through May 2018 exactly one year later while celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary.

It wasn’t from the original job posting, but another department in the City also looking for a marketing assistant that had kept my application on file.

I went in for one interview. Another. And after the third round of interviews, I was offered a part-time position.

Mind you, I hadn’t worked for anyone but myself since launching my own company back in September 2004, which ironically, was my own marketing firm.

I wasn’t exactly sure what to feel.

Defeated?

Saddened that I hadn’t quite figured this out and was forcing myself to put my dreams on hold?

An epic failure?

Or, was I given this opportunity because it allowed me more time and a bit of stability to breathe while continuing to work on my side hustle?

Was it about to teach me something I needed desperately to learn?

Sacrifices. Sacrifices.

I remember the day I found out I was offered the job and had to report to the City for training, necessary paperwork and badging.

It was late May and my family and I were in Las Vegas with my in-laws for a week over the summer break.

As Sean, the kids and I were walking to the South Point Hotel to play arcade games, the call came in to set up my first day as an official employee.

I quieted myself and I started the backlash against Sean. Poor guy. He didn’t see it coming. Call it all the emotions of finding out my life was going to change or what, but I was a total b*tch to him. Why I thought this was the worst thing ever was all in my head.

The humorous part? I was going back to a part-time position paying me $20/hour and here my father-in-law called us while on our walk to tell us he had just won $29,000 on a $5 bet playing Texas Hold ‘Em! In one year of working part-time, I wouldn’t even make that much. I wondered why the lucky winner wasn’t me. Not that my father-in-law didn’t deserve his big payout, but come on, universe.

I officially became an employee again on June 11, 2018. My kiddos who had never been to summer camp in their entire lives were now part of the day program three times a week. Worse part? They hated every minute of it.

I did my JOB, learning as much as I could and reminding myself that this sacrifice was just a blip in my story. It didn’t define me but perhaps it could teach me as I patiently worked for and waited for my next big break.

The good news about the gig? They understood this was a temporary situation for me as the gal who held the position before I came on board was also an entrepreneur whose business started to flourish. So much so that she quit this job when she was ready to take her business full-time again.

That was a definite positive in my book and helped get me through some challenging days on the job when I wasn’t sure where I was headed anymore or what I was working for.

The other benefit? It was 15 hours a week during the day so I could still hold down my mama duties.

The thing to remind yourself as you go through the sacrifice?

Just like failure, it’s not final. It’s merely a part of your story.

Even though you don’t understand why you’re going through it at the time, it will always be there to humble you. To teach you a lesson. And to help you come back stronger than you ever were before.

Rule of Life Lesson #92:  

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